FROM- Producers Cooperative Association

Author: Kristy

Told to us by a customer yesterday:

“I was looking at the animals on display in the pet store at Post Oak Mall in College Station. I was thinking of buying my daughter a hamster. A few minutes later, a guy walked in and said to the shopkeeper ‘I’ll take a Livestock Sale Barn Cowboy Monkey, please.’

The shopkeeper nodded and took a monkey out of a cage. The little monkey had on Justin boots, a tiny little Stetson cowboy hat and a miniature walking stick cattle prod. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the man, saying, ‘That’ll be $5,000.’ The man paid and left with the monkey.

The surprised man went to the shopkeeper and said, ‘That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?’
The shopkeeper answered, ‘Ah, that’s a Sale Barn Cowboy Monkey. He can drive trucks, chase cows, feed and water cattle & back up gooseneck trailers and run a squeeze chute, all with no back talk or complaints. He’s well worth the money.’

The man then spotted a monkey in another cage. ‘That one’s even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?’

‘Oh, that one’ replied the shopkeeper, ‘that’s an Auctioneer Monkey’, he can read, count by 2 1/2’s, group cattle by weight and body score, talk real fast in a microphone and tell bad jokes. He is very useful monkey indeed.’

The man looked around a little longer and found a monkey with a $50,000 price tag. The shocked fellow exclaimed, ‘This one costs more than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?’

‘Well,’ said the shopkeeper, ‘I’ve never actually seen him do anything except drink beer, eat BBQ, put his hands in his pockets, prop his feet on the fence and scratch his head a lot. But his papers say he’s a Order Buyer.’

— with Wesley Wisian.

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