Author: Kristy


Your dog rides in the truck more than your wife
You have driven off the road while examining your neighbor’s crops
You have used a chainsaw to remodel your house
You have buried a dog and cried like a baby
You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway
You always look when a vehicle passes your house, even at night
You have used something other than paper as toilet paper
You have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house
Your family instantly becomes silent when the weather comes on the news
You don’t bother to clean up the dog’s mess because it’s just fertilizer, and the dog knows to stay out of your way
Your husband drives a friend home from the bar when he only lives 3 houses away
You’ll skip your own cousin’s funeral for the first day of deer season (and you know he would approve and would do the same if you died)
You have enough ball caps to match every shirt you own, but you only wear one so you don’t get the others dirty
You convince your wife that an overnight, out of State trip for parts is a vacation
You’ve never thrown away a 5 gallon bucket
You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house
You have used baling wire to attach a license plate
You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate, and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife’s birthday
You have used a tractor with a loader as scaffolding for painting or roof repairs
You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment
You’ve used the same knife to make bull calves into steers and peel apples
You wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not
Your wife agrees to observe Mother’s Day after the beans are planted
Over 50% of your clothing came from feed or seed dealers
You give directions to your farm by using area landmarks, not road names or number
You refer to farms by who owned them 50 or more years ago
You’ve been stopped by the deputy sheriff for a cluttered dashboard


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